The pitfalls of online dating

At the end of July 2021, I signed up on a dating site for two reasons. First, I wanted to conduct a 30-day experiment to test the site and see what kind of men are out there for us BBWs. Second, I felt like it might be time to try to find love again. I’m not good at relationships. What I mean by this is that I like being alone. I like doing what I want to do without having to think or consider another person’s feelings. I do get lonely, and of course, there is no physical intimacy.

This may sound slutty, but I’m perfectly okay with having a sex-only relationship with a man. I’m not usually the one who catches feelings. The problem is that I don’t want to have multiple partners or have sex with someone who has multiple partners. If I could find the male version of myself, it would be the best relationship ever. We don’t have to go out to dinner, go on dates, or spend the night with each other. Let’s do it and then go our separate ways until we want to get nasty next time.

Unfortunately, it is hard to have that kind of relationship. At least it is for me. So I’ve decided to compromise and see if I can find someone to be in a committed relationship with that fits my needs and hopefully his too.

I’ve been keeping a dating journal available for free on my site (www.creativekrs.com). The membership is free for a limited time. In this membership area, you can read the nuances of my online dating experience and the relationship I began from meeting someone on the site. I was chatting with a few men, hoping that one of them would be the perfect fit. That’s when I met “Lewis” (not his real name).

To be honest, I should have known that it was not meant to be. I went against my instinct because he seemed mature, and if I was willing to compromise just a bit, I could make this work. Lewis said he wanted a serious relationship and marriage. I figured that I could do marriage if it meant in-house d**k. Louse convinced me to stop talking to the other men and focus on what we could have together.

For a little over a week, I believed that I could be falling for him. Lewis and I do not live in the same area. Since we are thousands of miles apart. We did a lot of texting, and he was sweet, and I loved the attention he gave me. When we had our first disagreement, I realized something was off. I ignored it but stuck the thought in the back of my mind. I knew that it would come up again.

Over the next few weeks, I began to do what I did best. I picked apart his communications to me. I read and reread everything because my catfish radar was going off. I image searched all his pictures. Nothing came up. We initially exchanged phone numbers. He dropped his phone in some water, and he said he needed to switch to using WhatsApp because he had it on an old iPad. This was only to be until he got his phone fixed. We never switched back to phone texting, and in six weeks, we have had a total of five phone calls via the app. None lasting longer than four minutes. I should have dropped him and moved on, but I can’t help it. I like catching the catfish before I set it free, so I continued communicating with him.

Lewis was charming, and a few times, I felt like I might actually be happy with him if we ever met. Then, it happened. He made a few big mistakes. On our first day of texting, he told me that his mother was still living, and he had seen her once a year since she was in his home country. As of today, she is dead and has been for a few years. I didn’t call him on that. I have skipped ahead a bit. So let me go back. Recently he told me he was going out of the country on business. He kindly sent me a short video of the plane flying low over the supposed city he was going to. I have never traveled internationally, so it could have been the city, but I didn’t think so. I have several friends from this country, and in particular, the city my love was visiting. They all assured me that the images I was looking at were not from that city. Knowing that Lewis had to stay in the hotel for 10 days after arriving due to Covid restrictions, I asked him what kind of view he had from his hotel window. He sent me two images. My catfish radar was blaring at me. I pushed it aside.

A few days later, Lewis texts me and mentions that some of his credit and bank cards aren’t working. I said nothing. We have discussed my situation, and I have no money to assist, nor would I do so for a man I have not physically met or spoken to for more than a few minutes. To be clear, he didn’t ask for anything, but we all know he expected me to offer assistance. A day or so later, he asked for my address because he wanted to send me a surprise. I gave it to him, and I received a delivery from Papa John’s. I was surprised and delighted. Maybe my catfish radar is broken, I thought. Then a day later, he hits me with the guilt trip that I should have been more concerned about his financial situation. I explained that he was able to register into his hotel, so something had to be working. I also pointed out that he ordered a food delivery to my house from another country (if that’s where he was). So he wasn’t having a real issue with his finances at all.  

Two days after that, my radar is blaring so loudly in my head that I can’t ignore it. Again, I take all his pictures and drop them into the image search, including the so-called view from his hotel window. I got a hit off one of those. I stared at the screen, stunned to find several images that looked exactly like the one I was searching for. The view from his hotel window in another country was an image of Wallowa Lake State Park in Oregon.

Most people would be calling him on the carpet for this. Not me. I’m waiting to see what he’s up to. I believe that this catfish is scamming other women for money and probably hopes to use me in his scheme in some capacity. I hope so because I want to assist the police in catching him and putting his ass behind bars.

Updates will be posted in my journal (www.creativekrs.com) and via this monthly blog.